Don’t Buy Into the Silly Saying, “Leaders Are Born, Not Made”

Throughout life, we have all met people who have a certain charisma and charm that makes them great leaders. Whether it is the cool kid on the playground or everyone’s favorite teacher or boss, we can all name one or two people that have stood out in our lives as “natural leaders.” For many of us, the power of these leaders has seemed like an elusive gift, something innate and intangible. We envy it from afar but have convinced ourselves that we were not born with the same set of qualifications. The reality, however, is that being a leader is dependent on a set of skills that anyone can possess with just a little practice and determination. Leaders are not born, they’re made.

One thing that almost all leaders have in common is that they are not afraid to project authority. Because of insecurity, shyness, or timidity many of us slouch and slump as a way to avoid being the focus of attention. We fear being looked at lest we be judged or laughed at. However, standing up tall with your head held high is a way to tell the world that your could care less about their scrutiny. Leaders often have to do or say very little to be noticed for their confidence and capability. Looking people in the eyes when you speak to them, standing and sitting tall, and walking with powerful confidence is an unmistakable sign of power. Many people are very uncomfortable trying this, but mustering up a just a bit of will power to force yourself to project confidence can produce staggering results.

Many people think that in order to seem powerful, they need to have their nose in every decision and conversation of those around them. However, the trick to being a leader is to come off as assertive, not bossy. Assertive people only have to ask things once and people will do it. The secret is in the delivery. Approaching people with confidence and calmness will give them the feeling that you are entrusting them with a responsibility. Be sure to treat them as people, give them a brief explanation and reason for the task, making them understand that what you are asking is important. After you have given the directive, back off and wait for it to be accomplished. Many people in leadership positions become bossy, overbearing and nagging toward the people under them. When you treat people like they are going to fail, 9 times out of 10 they will. Being a leader doesn’t just mean getting the job done, it means creating a team of loyal players that trust you and have confidence that you trust them.

Although treating others with respect often yields respect, as a leader, you may have to deal with people who challenge or question your motives and authority. Often, especially when the person is threatened by your power, this dissent can become disrespectful and degrading. If this happens, it is essential that you confront the issue in a direct and assertive manner. Avoid talking about the issue with others or using passive aggressive tactics. Instead go directly to the source; inform the person that, although their opinion is appreciated, their attitude is not. Let them know that you will not deal with petty conflicts and disrespect. Usually a straightforward, level-headed confrontation of the issue will quickly end it.